Movie Review of "Bride War"

The plot: Two friends go to war after their weddins are accidentally booked on the same day.

Our thoughts: Gary Winick’s latest comedy “Bride Wars” is undoubtedly the first big stinker of 2009. Neither funny nor entertaining, this painfully lame attempt at satirizing the wedding industry offers absolutely nothing but a boring feud between two incredibly stupid characters. Believe it or not, but these two bridezillas are a pain in the neck.

The misery starts with the film’s absurd story. Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway star as Liv and Emma, two best friends and brides-to-be who can’t wait to tie the knot and be each other’s maid of honor at their respective weddings, which they both plan to have at the prestigious Plaza Hotel.

The real trouble starts when their wedding planner mistakenly books their weddings on the same day. Usually, this would be an easy fix, but the Plaza is fully booked for the next three years, and there is obviously no way anyone else would voluntarily want to switch with them.

It’s easy to guess what happens next. Neither Liv nor Emma wants to drop out and pick another venue, and before you know it, the two friends are trying everything they can to sabotage each other’s wedding preparations. If you think that sounds like quite the exciting war, don’t get your hopes up too high.

The mostly illogical and utterly pointless story line is the main reason “Bride Wars” fails miserably on so many levels. I completely understand the two main characters are blinded by the excitement of their upcoming weddings, but is that a good enough reason to abandon good sense and throw fists instead of approaching the situation rationally?

I mean, considering they know they can’t change the date and don’t want to pick another venue, why do Liv and Emma not agree to a double wedding? If they really care more about when or where their weddings take place than anything else, wouldn’t they at least logically consider that option?

But no, if they agreed to a double wedding there would be no movie, so as a result, the screenwriters turn them into moronic brides who scream at each other and waste all that time trying to destroy their common dream instead of living it. On that note, I guess writing a crappy script is your best chance to make it in Hollywood these days.

Anyway, once Liv and Emma decide to go to war, the movie gets even worse than it already is, with both brides turning to immature and even more idiotic behavior in their attempts to make each other suffer. The dialogue stinks, the acts of sabotage are lame, and nearly every attempt at humor fails as well. The predictable ending is the most terrible part of the entire movie.

Anne Hathaway deserves tons of praise for her efforts in “Rachel Getting Married,” but her performance here is anything but impressive. As for Kate Hudson, she hasn’t really done a good movie in years, and to be honest, she’s even far more annoying than her co-star.